Catch Up

Its been a while since my last post and I apologize. Our lives got turned upside and I haven't had any spare time. Bug, I'm going to try to make some so I can continue this blog. For all 2 of you that read it. So, what have the outdoorsy parents been up to?? I don't know where we left off so I'll just start through things out there. In late August we redecorate LD's room in a national parks theme, but it's not done yet. We need to finish one wall. That wall will be covered with climbing holds. I know, he's still young. But trust me, this kid loves to climb!! So, he will get a wall full of climbing holds!!

Over the summer I decided to go to school to get my license for massage therapy and that has taken up most of my free time. So it's time to find a balance. Plus, LD has been sick. Yes, he spent some time back around Thanksgiving in the Pediatric ICU and was very sick. Then I was sick for all of December and poor A has been taking care of everything. While I prefer to stay away from the doctors as much as possible, it has been a rough road for us and the vitamin C wasn't cutting it. But, we all have little head colds right now, and vitamin C is really all we need.

Head colds? But it only just started raining. Yes, and I've been running in the rain. Trying to keep my training schedule has meant running in the rain. But with a head cold that is out of the picture for now. I may have to adapt my program to a 10k instead of a half marathon. We shall see. The running is important to our parenting. We want our kids to learn that physical fitness isn't just important, but that without it we have no lives. Without it we miss out on sunrise atop Half Dome, sunsets on El Cap, backpacking the JMT, PCT, & AT and so many more things. So running I go. Plus it's like an old friend. Its a commitment, I'm teaching my kids to honor their commitments, but accept when it is not the best option and readjust.

What Happens When Your Toddler Gets Your Phone...

our trip to Yosemite

hello this it A, i will be substitute blogging for you this evening because my wife is out

Today i am here to tell you all about our sons first birthday. For the past few weeks now M was toying with me and telling me that she had an awesome surprise in store for LD (Little Dude) and I for his birthday. well a few days ago she finally told me that she had plans to take us to Yosemite to go backpacking. Now this may sound crazy to some, but i really wanted to take LD backpacking before he turned one year.

I've wanted to pretty much since he was born. i was sooo excited. after she told me, all i could think about was what preparations needed to be done in order to make our trip successful. i employed some of my ultralight backpacking techniques to create a manageable pack weight for each of us while i would also be wearing LD on my back in our Osprey Poco Plus. Last Thursday morning we finally arrived in Yosemite after waking up at 3AM to drive while LD slept and make it to the permit office before it opened. The first thing we did was go straight to the permit issuing office to attempt to get a backpacking permit leading from Happy Isles to Little Yosemite Valley.

   Unfortunately it was a no go... permits were not available for our destination. we were all very bummed but decided to make the best of it. since i recently became an ordained Dudeist Priest (story for another day) i tried to keep to my faith and "abide" as the Dude most assuredly would have given the situation. So we decided to do our hike anyways and just hike it as a day hike instead of with our overnight gear. the hike was alot of fun. it was my first time up to the top of Vernal Falls and in the poor shape i was in it was quiet grueling, but the mountain air kept me going. we made it to the top around lunch and sat down for a bite to eat by the Vernal pool. after lunch we headed back down and by the time we made it , we both thought our legs were made of jello. We went to the visitor center and picked up LD's junior Nat'l Parks Passport Companion book and his Nat'l Parks Passport. M helped him stamp it which i know she really enjoyed. we went over to camp 4 and much to our dismay, we found out there were no available camp sites.

 We were thinking great... we drove here super early and now we are going to have to drive home the same night. we got dinner (pizza at Degnan's) and went to do a few other things, hoping that it would be easier to drive with LD tired and ready to sleep the whole way home. at about 9 we left the park with him wide awake. And then the nightmare began..... he began to scream, and scream, and scream. we thought he was tied and would most likely fall asleep in a few minutes. well, he didn't. we had to pull over to console and give him a break at crane flat. after about a half hour of waiting, we tried again. i pulled out of crane flat and after a minute or two, it started again. he screamed and screamed we thought we would come up to the park entrance soon enough and that we could stop there safely. i drove on and on thinking it should be coming up soon. after what felt like hours, and was probably actually about 45 minutes (still a long time to listen to your child screaming bloody murder) we see a sign for May Lake. AWWWWW SHIT. i feel horrible now because i realize i made a wrong turn somehow out of Crane Flat. I'm not about to repeat that trip back down to CF so we stop and decide to sleep in the car awhile, by now its about 11pm. i organize the back a little so M and LD can lay down in a sleeping bag. i try to sleep sitting up in the front seat which goes miserably for me. after about 2 hours of attempting to sleep. i wake up M and say we need to keep moving toward home. we buckle LD back up and he sleeps (for awhile) i drive until i feel like i cant do it any longer and then switch with M.

 i pass out in the passenger seat and wake up later when hes awake and screaming again. at this point we are nearing Sonora and decide we have to pull over and sleep again. so here we are at a god awful hour of the morning, attempting to sleep with me propped up in the driver seat and M squished in the back. from about 3am to 630am. we made due the best we could and managed to get a little restful sleep. at about 630 we woke up and were able to drive the rest of the way home. we couldn't even nap that day because we had so much preparation to do for LD's upcoming birthday BBQ. but man did i sleep well that night...

all in all im still glad we went.

(This has been edited with photographic proof of a good time had by all. Love M.)!

Death...and Taxes

Dudes, I have sad sad news. A has killed his phone. The good news is, that the cost of killing a phone is not nearly as high as that of killing a person. We will just have to pay the deductible to get him a new phone with free overnight shipping. Saweet! The thing is, what killed the phone is the death that we have allowed to be brought into our lives. It's funny, becoming a parent. You suddenly want everything to be great for your kids. You don't settle for less than what you feel they deserve. When they are kids, that's great. But, when they are adults we need to let them decide for themselves. Equally hard though, is when your kids become parents. I'm obviously not there yet, but we have been seeing how hard it is first hand. It's a struggle, especially when parenting ideals between the new grandparents and new parents don't align. At that point it all comes down to respect. But being a parent changes your outlook on life. You start changing your own life because of the things you want for your child(ren) and family down the road.

That's what has happened here. Someone said something to me yesterday that really resonates with me. Really has me stuck on what it means to have relationships and to have positive and healthy relationships. I got a lot of good advisement yesterday from a variety of sources and after sleeping on those things I have some words to say, some pride to swallow, and some wisdom to impart.

Words:
"You are speaking death into my marriage" Those were the first words that actually spoke to me about the situation we have been encountering with family lately. These words are true about all relationships though, not just marriage. I'd never heard it put this way, but I've said something similar to A. I have a friend whom I love. I don't dislike her husband, but I'm not his biggest fan. A asked me why don't I say something to her about it. I was shocked, and asked him why would I do that. After all, he's not my husband and it's her life and all that it would accomplish would be to cause a rift between my friend and I. Why would it cause a rift? Because I know her, and she (like myself) would be like, that's your opinion but he's my husband and I don't want to hear it. It speaks death into her marriage. Think about why we say the nasty things we say about other people. It's because we want to cause them to be separated and isolated from others. We may justify it as wanting to protect those we love, but the end result is the same: death to that relationship.

Swallowing Pride:
I am sorry to Natalie Hansen. I am sorry for the hurtful things I have said to her and the pain that I have caused her. Not my best moments. I hope that someday she can forgive me, when she is ready.

Wisdom:
If I want my son to know how to be a grown up (someday), or how to be a good man and have a good marriage then WE need to model that for him. We need to show him how to be a good person, respectful, caring, and genuine. I want my son to know that adults are not perfect, that family is important and that we need to have healthy boundaries to have healthy relationships. Healthy boundaries include those boundaries we place on ourselves. One of my own personal boundaries is to: live a life I'm not ashamed of. This is a part of that. Instead of being ashamed of my actions, I can learn from them, offer them to others as an example of 'what not to do' and I can atone for my misdeeds. If I want to give my son a better life, then I need to start by being a better model for him. If we want to change this world, then we need to start with changing ourselves. I want my son to fight for a relationship with us, if God forbid we find ourselves in the same situation again. So, WE need to show him what it looks like to fight for that, while protecting our hearts and each other. Because, when your children are grown what you have left is your spouse. So you need to protect them as much as you protect your children.


We have allowed death to be spoken into our marriage, and we have spoken death into the relationship with A's parents. We both have. We also allowed for it all to happen. We didn't stop and make the conscious effort to stop it, not do it ourselves, and sow in health and happiness. And that's about to change. We are changing that. It started last night and it is going to go on everyday of my life; so that our son will know what humility, respect, honor, love, family, and devotion all look like.  

Peking Duck

I'm not sure who decided to spread the myth that children are selfish and not good at sharing. But, they weren't correct. Not to say that they are wrong, they just aren't correct. Adults make kids bad at sharing. We teach them they have to give up whatever they have whenever someone else wants it, or after they've had it for a preset amount of time. Lets talk about unfair. We aren't teaching our kids to genuinely give and share when we do this. We just teach them that their wants don't matter and that they will get trouble if they don't give up their toy, color crayon, or stuffed animal.

When we let our kids play with their toys and crayons etc for as long as they like then, we are teaching them that their feelings matter to us and that when they are ready they can freely give up the item. No bullying, no punishment, no screaming. Just genuine love. Think about when Andy gives away his toys at the end of ToyStory3. He does it with such love, you know you bawled your eyes when it happened. That's what we should be teaching our kids. Sharing is caring, when it's done from a place of confidence not fear.

What does this have to do with raising a Little Dude to love the outdoors? Well, at some point we must address sharing. Ideally we'd address it now, because being squished between A and LD isn't cool and I don't want to share my bed with this many warm bodies, especially since A has been sick all day and I had to drag him to the grocery store earlier. Anyways, where was I...oh yes, what this has to do with our LD. He is an excellent sharer...if sharing his duck with dad counts. The other day it happened. He started offering A his yellow rubber duckie during their bath together. I came in to find the happiest LD shoving his duckie into A's mouth and then retrieving it and shoving it in his mouth. Back and forth whenever A asked for the duckie. My Little Dude can share!

Enjoy some of the beautiful moments caught on camera.

*Disclaimer
No duckies were harmed in the making of these moments and there aren't any visible penises.

"You have tomatoes in your front yard..."

Back in Sacto! Lots of changes going on with us, daily! What hasn't changed is that raising our LD is still an adventure. Now that we are back home the adventures are around every corner! LD is older and he's standing and starting to work on walking. Of course this also means he is getting into everything and our poor Stew is his favorite thing to chase. We have to help keep him out of LD's reach. All dogs are fun to LD!

We are also getting more teeth! #7 and #8 are coming in as I type. He is also biting my calf as I type, OUCH!  I hope we get a break for a while after these two finish coming in.

Almost first on our agenda for coming home was the garden! No more apartment, garden rules! I did some reading up on hugels and we are working on one of those in the actual garden. So for this year we planted a very small garden in the front flower bed. 2 tomatoes, cantaloupe, bell peppers, patypan squash, and pumpkin. Super small, but it's something, and now Z will get to have a home grown pumpkin for Halloween! (And of course his grandma has a lovely garden coming in with some butternut just for him). It's only temporary, just this one year, while we get the hugel set up and the backyard rototilled and reseeded. It doesn't seem to bother anyone in our neighborhood and they aren't coming up to our house to take veggies, so I think we are solid! Although, it has elicited some comments from family about the location of my tomatoes and curb appeal.

Curb appeal, for one summer it's not going to hurt our curb appeal. Plus, maybe that's the kind of buyer we will be looking for whenever we do sell our house. A nice young free spirited couple, like ourselves, just trying to make it in life while living the dream.

On The Road Again...

It is never ending. Relocating is such a pain in and of itself, but with family (especially a LD) it's a nightmare. There's no certainty on the horizon for A's potential future job with REI, and I've been waiting for a solid yes or no from a company since March. Last word was they still hadn't decided on who to interview face to face. But life must go on, wherever the jobs are. And we'll be together, wherever that is.

Hopefully somewhere that will facilitate LD's climbing. The dude is on a roll! He climbs everything that has foot and/or hand holds. As soon as one of us finds comparable work we will have to make a small climbing wall for LD. I'm super excited, a bit concerned, and deeply saddened-as most moms probably would be. He is getting so big and I miss my little man that was born early and so small. He is now bigger than kids older than him and has 6 teeth. He no longer wants to nap the day away in my arms. He wants to climb this thing and that, play with his train set, and "crawl" around. Though...crawling is not exactly what he does. It seems he isn't a fan of crawling. A few movements and then he's trying to stand himself up to walk. I don't know if he'll ever properly crawl, but I think walking will be upon us shortly.

And frolicking in the garden! My son has taken after his mom and has developed a love of tools and plants. Today I taught him how to transplant basil, after he decided that the shovel we got A for Father's Day was actually his, not A's. He watched very carefully as A began digging the trench in our garden. Lord help us, we might be raising the next generation of hippie.